


King of Pirates: The Switch

by Mazauric



Series: JE Kingdoms [2]
Category: KAT-TUN (Band), Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 16:31:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20531084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mazauric/pseuds/Mazauric
Summary: Before the events of Part Three.When Uchi Hiroki suddenly dies an unknown and mysterious death, both King Koyama and King Subaru search for answers. In the midst of avoiding mourning, Ryo finds his answers with the Mercury Pirates resident rabbit: Ueda Tatsuya.





	King of Pirates: The Switch

It’s strange every single time, and he never gets used to it. The feeling of leaving one body and entering another—Ryo has done it countless times, and it’s always strange.   
  
He lies down on his bed and looks up at Yamapi who is leaning over him. Sitting at the base of the bed is Shigeaki, a book in his hands as usual. Ryo takes a deep breath and steels himself for his scheduled departure from Sunshine Bay to Kanjani Island, his second home. Or his first depending on who you ask.   
  
Shigeaki Kato is the archivist of Sunshine Bay. WhileRyo and Yamapi both work as ambassadors and as seconds-in-command to Koyama, Shigeaki’s job has always been to keep the records and be the point of knowledge about history, laws—almost everything. He’s also the only person on Sunshine Bay who needs counselling. The knowledge in his head leads to a lot of anxiety attacks.   
  
Which is why Ryo isn’t particularly surprised to see a frown on his face.   
  
“What is it?” he asks, as Yamapi goes around setting things up for his departure.   
  
“It’s nothing,” Shige mutters. “I just have a headache. Koyama’s been getting me to read more about the Moon Islands lately. I know more than I need to on that topic.”   
  
Ryo looks up curiously. “The Moon Islands?”   
  
That’s where Ueda Tatsuya came from. The very thought of the confusing little rabbit sends Ryo’s heart beating harder than he’s used to. Tatsuya confuses him quite a lot.   
  
“Koyama is concerned about the unrest he’s been sensing. He thinks the source of it might be on the Moon Islands,” Shige explains. “Unfortunately, our library is extensive but not that extensive. There isn’t enough information on those islands. He’s been getting me to look into the Moon Islands ever since...”   
  
He stops there, and Ryo knows why. It’s only been one week. One week since Uchi Hiroki died. The death of a Switch is usually not as devastating as the death of any other being. Normally when a Switch dies, he still has another body to go to. Two lives, so to speak.   
  
What made Uchi so mysterious was that both his bodies had died at the same time. Ryo had been there, he’d seen it, and when he’d watched Uchi transition, he’d seen that it hadn’t gone right. Uchi hadn’t transitioned, he’d died. He’d never appeared in his other body either, they’d both just died.   
  
The wound is still fresh for everyone, and Ryo doesn’t want to talk about Uchi. Neither does Shige. They both lay the topic to rest and return to discussing the Moon Islands.   
  
Ryo wonders if asking Tatsuya would be more fruitful, but he isn’t sure he wants to deliberately call the rabbit out. Tatsuya doesn’t seem to like talking about the Moon Islands, and when they’re around each other they don’t usually end up talking. Ryo can’t help himself and neither, it seems, can Tatsuya.   
  
He rests his head back on the pillow and looks up when Yamapi comes back.   
  
“Ready?” Yamapi asks, and Ryo nods.   
  
“We’ll see you in two weeks,” Shige promises. “Send King Subaru our regards.”   
  
Ryo closes his eyes, and he doesn’t say it aloud but it’s kind of scary. They still don’t really know what killed Uchi—and if transitioning holds the risk that he’d one day die, Ryo takes that risk every time he does it. He feels his sense of touch leave him first, then his hearing, and finally it’s like something heavy drops off him and he’s floating. It’s a queasy sort of feeling, like flying or free falling. He feels a tug in his stomach and he has to sleep in order to endure this, but he never manages it.   
  
Uchi used to say it was just like sleeping. He was lying of course. It wasn’t anything like sleeping.   
  
He never knows how long he ends up floating. It feels like hours, no noise, no sense, just endless floating, and sometimes he wonders if he’ll ever land in his other body.   
  
When he finally does, it’s heavy and it always makes him feel ill. He crashes into his other body and all of his senses flood back so fast they make his head spin. He has to keep his eyes closed a little longer, because he’s sure that even if he opens his eyes he’ll see nothing but blur.   
  
It’s a lot like sitting on a merry-go-round for a long time and finally getting off. The quesiness of having to deal with the still world when his own is still spinning.   
  
He waits one, two, three minutes before he finally opens his eyes and lets out a slow, steady breath. As if that is going to calm his stomach, which already feels like it’s clenching with impending sickness.   
  
He notices Okura next to his bed first. He hasn’t noticed Ryo is awake yet and has one leg crossed over the other as he reads a thick and heavy looking book. Yokoyama is sitting on the other side, fast asleep with his head leaning back on the wall.   
  
Ryo never knows how long they wait there but their job is to help him adjust to his role again. It never takes long and whilst Ryo’s job is almost the same in both islands, there are always little differences about working for both Sunshine Bay and Kanjani. Cultural differences mostly, Ryo is well versed in the dialects of both kingdoms as well as how things work but the first day is always a mini challenge.   
  
It was much easier to deal with when Uchi was here.   
  
Ryo reads the title of the book in Okura’s hands and frowns. “You’re reading about the Moon Islands too?”   
  
Okura jumps. He closes the book in his hands and smiles when he sees Ryo is awake. He leans over. “You alright?”   
  
“Fine,” Ryo groans.   
  
Okura helps him sit up, and Ryo feels his head spin a little as he moves. His stomach wants to expel everything. Unfortunately he hasn’t been in this body in two weeks, so he has nothing to vomit.   
  
“Oy, Yu,” Okura leans over the bed to nudge the other man awake. “Ryo’s here.”   
  
Yokoyama opens his eyes and yawns. He stretches, and when he looks at Ryo he can’t help but groan, “You took your time.”   
  
Ryo shakes his head and lets it go. This is the first time he’s woken up in Kanjani alone. Normally he’d wake up and be sick with Uchi, spend the first hour bitching and moaning about how being a Switch isn’t as cool as it sounds. Then eventually hit the tavern to at least drink the illness away so they can throw up liquid instead.   
  
This time, whilst he’s not alone, he feels like he is. Nobody else knows what it’s like to be a Switch. Having Uchi around was always a comfort.   
  
Ryo stretches his neck a little and points to the book in Okura’s hands. “Koyama has Shige looking up the Moon Islands as well,” he points out. “I don’t think wolves killed Uchi.”   
  
“I don’t think that either,” Okura admits quietly. “But we don’t know what caused it. Since strange shit has been coming out of the Moon Islands lately, that seems to be a safer bet. Unfortunately the books aren’t offering much in the way of answers.”   
  
Ryo thinks about Tatsuya, and he knows that eventually someone is going to ask him to reach out to the rabbit. With both Koyama and Subaru looking into the Moon Islands, searching for something to blame for Uchi’s death, it’s inevitable.   
  
He just hopes they don’t.   
  
It’s nightfall by the time Ryo manages to get out of bed, with the help of Okura and Yokoyama. They fill him in on what’s happened during his absence (not much—the death of Uchi is still the biggest news), and by the time Ryo is washed, dressed, and comfortable in his body again, he is taken to the throne room where Subaru is sitting, waiting for him.   
  
Ryo approaches the throne and bows his head down, like he always does.   
  
Subaru studies him for a moment, and Ryo keeps his head down a little longer than he normally would. This is different. Subaru asked him to come back last week when Uchi died but Ryo had to refuse. Kanjani Island was not the only island dealing with the death of a Switch. It isn’t often that Ryo feelstorn between the two kingdoms, but at that moment he had been.   
  
He hears Subaru get up off his throne and gets only a few seconds warning before Subaru comes down to him. Ryo lifts his head and finds himself face to face with the King of Kanjani Island.   
  
Subaru Shibutani is very different from Koyama Keiichiro, and nobody knows the differences better than Ryo himself.   
  
Ryo eyes the king before him carefully. Koyama is a calm and obedient king, but Subaru isn’t him. He’s always been slightly more aggressive, and that is shown in the way he rules, the judgements he passes, the laws he approves of.   
  
The situation is different too. Ryo is the only Switch left.   
  
“What happened?” Subaru asks. His tone isn’t gentle, but it isn’t harsh or angry either. As aggressive as Subaru is, he’s reasonable to a point, especially towards his own. Especially towards Ryo.   
  
Ryo swallows hard and shakes his head. “I was helping him transition as always,” he explains carefully. “Like we always do, we went to our room and I helped set everything up. Then he lay down, he closed his eyes and he…” Ryo pauses. He still doesn’t like thinking about it and he’s been through this with Koyama more than once. Being the only one who witnessed it is horrifying enough without the knowledge that he still has to see it in his dreams.   
  
“Go on,” Subaru frowns. He wants the straight truth.   
  
“Blood started leaking from his mouth,” Ryo tells him calmly. “He started leaking blood and...I knew it had gone wrong.”   
  
There’s something soft in Subaru’s eyes.   
  
“Blood started leaking?” Subaru asks. “When you switch, your body ceases to function until your return. How did you know he’d died and not transitioned?”   
  
“Because we never bleed when we transition,” Ryo answers calmly. “I knew it had gone wrong. What surprised me was that he didn’t simply wake up here.”   
  
The others in the throne room are listening with rapt attention as well. All they would have witnessed was the death of Uchi’s body when they rushed to check on it.   
  
Subaru observes Ryo carefully and frowns in thought. He seems to accept that the situation is as mysterious as they’d originally thought and Ryo can’t provide much in the way of answers. That was why Shige was looking through books, trying to find an explanation.   
  
“Dokkun,” Subaru says, addressing Ryo by a nickname only the Rangers use. “Have you mourned properly?”   
  
Ryo steels himself. The day Uchi had died had been chaotic and in all the rush and confusion, Ryo hadn’t had time to sit down and address the reality that Uchi was dead. There had been no time. When he finally did get time, he didn’t want it. He doesn’t like thinking about it and everytime it creeps up on him—that he’s the only Switch left and that his best friend is gone...he can’t. He has to do something, talk, use his hands, do something to keep his mind off it.   
  
“I’m fine,” Ryo tells Subaru as he holds his gaze. “If you need me to help find an explanation to what happened to Uchi, I can do that.”   
  
Subaru looks at him doubtfully and frowns. “Dokkun, I need you to be okay.”   
  
“I am okay,” Ryo assures him, ignoring the niggling in the back of his head that tells him he’s lying “I’m fine. Let me work.”   
  
Subaru glances at Okura, who is assessing Ryo silently in the corner of the throne room. The others look just as worried, but Subaru doesn’t fight him on it. Instead he steps back and nods. “Fine,” he says. “Send agents to our allies requesting texts and books, anything that will help us find out what happened to Uchi. If there is an enemy around, I want to know about it.”   
  
Ryo is glad for the distraction. He bows and leaves the throne room, feeling everyone’s eyes on his back as he goes.   
  
Ryo locks himself in his room and starts writing letters. Where Kings usually send messages through their Rose advisor, when a matter requires something concrete like a book, agents are the best things to send. They’re people from the village, specifically chosen to travel by boat to other islands and return with goods. They’re also required, as a gesture of goodwill, to come with something from Kanjani Islands, so the exchange goes both ways.   
  
He’s just writing a letter for the Arashi Island when his door opens and Okura slips in. Ryo glances at the silky black kimono the other wears and sighs as he turns back to his work. “I don’t need that.”   
  
“As the healer for Kanjani, I beg to differ,” Okura replies softly as he slides the door closed behind himself.   
  
Ryo ignores him and continues writing but he knows why Okura is there. Okura Tadayoshi is the healer of the Kanjani Island. Whilst most would mistake that role for being the same as someone like Nakamaru Yuichi—who specialises in injuries and illnesses—they’d be terribly, terribly wrong.   
  
‘Healer’ in terms of the Kanjani Island has always meant to heal wounds, physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. Okura was born into the role just as Ryo was born to be a Switch and it’s not an easy role to fill. Okura can heal injuries, he can remedy illnesses but he is also there for emotional healing as well.   
  
To many of the other Kanjani members, that includes sex. Their King may not be able to partake in such activities (being the King, he has never felt the physical need to), but the rest of the court do, and Okura’s job is to ‘comfort’ as sex has long been regarded as vital to emotional healing.   
  
Ryo’s been with him more than once in the past. So have the others. It’s as detached from emotion as it would be if Okura were simply healing a gash in someone’s knee, there are no feelings of attachment or commitment, it’s simply comfort. But it’s always been different when it comes to Ryo, because in a familiar sort of way, they understand each other. Not the way Ryo and Uchi used to but Okura—quiet and beautiful Okura—understands Ryo better than most.   
  
Okura makes no noise as he glides over to sit on the cushion next to Ryo. The silk kimono he wears drapes over his slender body and he’s always been beautiful. Ryo is well aware of all of Okura’s charms but right now, he doesn’t want to do what Okura wants him to do.   
  
“I was sent by our king,” Okura tells him calmly. “You know he doesn’t believe you when you say you’re okay. None of us do.”   
  
“Go away, Okura,” Ryo mutters, finishing off his letter to Arashi and starting in on the next for SMAP.   
  
Okura doesn’t leave. He simply stays there, still and watching, as Ryo finishes letter after letter after letter. Then, when Ryo finally finishes them all, he puts them into envelopes, sets them aside and rounds on Okura at last.   
  
“Okura,” he says, a warning in his tone, “I’m fine.”   
  
“You’re not,” Okura counters and sometimes it’s infuriating how infinitely calm Okura can be. Those eyes of his have always been able to strip people down, read them like a script. That’s why he’s the Healer after all.   
  
Ryo doesn’t want him. He doesn’t want any of this. He wants to work and get his mind off all of this. He wants to find out what happened to his best friend and stop it from happening to himself if he can. He doesn’t have time to mourn.   
  
He gets up, grabs the letters and stomps out of the room, feeling Okura’s eyes on his back. Ryo heads out into the courtyard, and all along the way he feels the others watching him. Maruyama and Yasuda look up, pausing their conversation as Ryo goes by. Yokoyama stops training and watches Ryo worriedly. As Ryo goes past the throne, he can feel Subaru and Murakami watching and he doesn’t want any of it.   
  
Ryo is grateful for the excuse to slip into the village and personally locate his agents. He sends each and every one of them off to their destinations, and when he finally finishes his task the sun has already set and night draws over the village.   
  
Ryo stops and looks up at the castle in the distance. He has to go back eventually. He’s expected there and he has a job to do, but he doesn’t want to give them the chance to force him to mourn, to face all of this.   
  
Because once he gets one moment to sit, to think about Uchi, he…   
  
Ryo shakes his head and goes to the tavern instead. He drinks alone and comes back to the castle well after midnight, too drunk to think as he finally flops onto his bed and lets oblivion take him away.   
  
* * *   
  
It goes on for four days. Ryo buries himself in work and systematically ignores approaches from the others.   
  
Okura doesn’t go near him after that, but he does watch. Always lingering nearby with those same calm, calculating eyes that strip all of Ryo’s natural defenses down. Maruyama tries approaching him once or twice, but whenever he mentions the words ‘Uchi’ or ‘mourn’, Ryo walks off.   
  
Yasuda tries hugging him once or twice, and normally Ryo doesn’t mind a bit of skinship, but right now he just can’t deal with any of it and keeps pushing Yasuda off. Yokoyama doesn’t even bother trying—he already knows he’d be pushed off. But he’s always watching.   
  
Murakami disappears, and Subaru doesn’t try to break the ice with Ryo again. Instead he does the only helpful thing and keeps giving Ryo jobs to do.   
  
On the fourth day, Murakami returns. Ryo is sitting in the throne room going over some documents sent from Sunshine Bay when he notices Murakami coming in and bowing before the throne.   
  
Subaru shifts in his seat and assesses Murakami seriously. “And?” he asks. “Were you successful?”   
  
That catches Ryo’s attention. He hadn’t been aware Murakami had been sent out to do something. He looks up and his breath catches in his throat when he sees someone else walking into the throne room.   
  
Ueda Tatsuya’s feet make no sound as he strides into the throne room and pauses beside Murakami. His eyes are trained on Subaru as he bows low. He’s followed quickly by Kamenashi Kazuya, who follows suit.   
  
“The Mercury Pirates have agreed to offer their assistance in our endeavour,” Murakami announces.   
  
Kazuya looks up and eyes Subaru warily. “I don’t know what you’re expecting from us,” he tells Subaru straight. “You have no proof that what happened is in any way linked to the Moon Islands. Even if it is, Tatsuya hasn’t been there in years.”   
  
It’s quite a change. When people address Subaru (or any king really) they’re to always maintain a respectful and mindful attitude. Their speech must be respectful and formal to the maximum degree.   
  
Kamenashi Kazuya talks to Subaru like they’re on the same level and Ryo notices a flutter of disturbance amongst the silent advisors behind Subaru. They’re not used to being addressed so directly either.   
  
“We are short on options,” Subaru points out, seemingly undisturbed by the bluntness of the pirate captain “If your...rabbit,” he glances at Tatsuya, “can provide any answers or information, it could help aid our investigation.”   
  
Kazuya folds his arms and glances at the boy in question. Ryo can’t understand why they’re here. Sure, Tatsuya is from the Moon Islands but Kazuya raised a good point: he hasn’t been there in years.   
  
They’re really grasping at straws if they’re resorting to this.   
  
“Nishikido,” Subaru addresses him—he never uses the nickname when outsiders are in the area, “Murakami, with me. Kamenashi and Ueda, come.”   
  
He gets up and shoots a warning look at Ryo before heading down the corridors. Ryo is not to disobey. He sets his work aside and he can feel Okura’s eyes on him even as he leaves the throne room and follows Subaru, Murakami, Kazuya and Tatsuya down the corridor and into a small room reserved for serious and private conversations.   
  
In true Kanjani tradition, the layout of the room is old and traditional. The floor is tatami and a low table is placed in the centre with cushions surrounding it. Ryo enters the room last and slides the door shut behind himself before taking a seat with the others.   
  
He tries to avoid staring at the beautiful rabbit next to him but it’s always been difficult. Ueda Tatsuya, with his fluffy brown locks, pretty eyes and slender, hidden body, has always been hard to ignore for Ryo.   
  
“Nishikido,” Subaru breaks his thoughts and Ryo looks at him, a little startled. The King watches him carefully “Go through it again.”   
  
Ryo feels a familiar niggling in the back of his head. He doesn’t want to. He’s told both Koyama and Subaru about how Uchi died, and although the words are easy to get out, he hates living through that moment again and again.   
  
It’s like torture.   
  
Still, with both Tatsuya and Kazuya looking at him, Ryo takes a deep breath and explains—again—how the transition had gone wrong. When he finishes he feels Tatsuya’s eyes on him, but he avoids returning the gaze as Kazuya frowns and turns to Subaru and Murakami.   
  
“What makes you think that is related to the Moon Islands?” he asks, again bluntly.   
  
“Magic,” Murakami reasons. “It’s got to be. Being a Switch is, in itself, a form of magic, and everyone knows that most of the magic in the world comes from the Moon Islands. There has to be a connection, and if there is...maybe the Islands hold the key to what happened.”   
  
Kazuya raises an eyebrow, but Tatsuya looks like he’s considering it.   
  
“There have been Switches on the Moon Islands,” Tatsuya mutters quietly to himself. “But that was hundreds of years ago. It’s possible the magic of the Switches originates from the islands but...it would be very hard to tell.”   
  
Subaru and Murakami lean in, both interested. Ryo’s just trying not to think about the last time he saw Tatsuya, naked and sitting on top of him like the confusing sex god he is.   
  
“Is there a way to find out exactly what killed Uchi?” Murakami asks.   
  
“Magic is fragile,” Tatsuya explains carefully “Even on the Moon Islands. A Switch is born with two bodies, but it’s magic that allows them to transition from one body to the other. If one body dies, the Switch always has another body to go into. But if the magic running in their veins runs out…”   
  
Everyone looks at Ryo. Ryo, feeling quite lost, finally looks at Tatsuya and meets his gaze. “Are you saying I’m from the Moon Islands?”   
  
“No,” Tatsuya answers gently. “Magic is not limited to the Moon Islands. You were simply born with magic in your blood.”   
  
“So…” Murakami frowns, trying to understand this, “what killed Uchi was magic? He ran out of it?”   
  
“He needed that magic in order to transition,” Tatsuya explains. “If he didn’t have enough magic in his veins at the time of transition, it would have been enough to kill him. By the sounds of it, he had enough magic to leave his body but he didn’t have enough magic to go into his other body.”   
  
Ryo thinks about the floating feeling he always goes through when he’s transitioning. The feeling of flying blind, of wondering when he’ll land in his other body, and he wonders how it must have felt for Uchi. To float but never land, to die in that world of nothingness, unable to return to Sunshine Bay or land in Kanjani.   
  
It’s a lonely thought and it makes his chest hurt.   
  
“Okay,” Subaru nods. It’s an answer, and one they’d been looking for. Now they know what happened.   
  
“How do we prevent this from happening to Ryo one day?” Subaru asks. It’s telling of his concern that he forgets to address Ryo by his last name, as he usually would in front of outsiders.   
  
Tatsuya looks at Ryo, and it’s even more disturbing than when Okura is looking at him. Where Okura can can usually tell when something is wrong with him, only Tatsuya can see right through him. Ryo meets his gaze, and the rabbit holds it for a moment before turning back to Subaru.   
  
“He’ll be fine,” Tatsuya tells the king. “Nishikido has enough magic in his blood to last a lifetime. What happened to Uchi will never happen to him.”   
  
Murakami looks confused “How do you know?”   
  
To that, Tatsuya simply gives him a dull glare until the other understands that Ueda Tatsuya is a rabbit from the Moon Islands. Of course he can sense magic.   
  
“Well,” Kazuya sighs, “that answers that mystery. I have a ship waiting in the docks, and my crew get sticky fingers when they’ve been on dry land too long. We’re going now.”   
  
“Wait, wait, wait, Kamenashi please.” Murakami holds his hands up, stopping the pirate captain and the rabbit from leaving. “Please,” Murakami pleads. “There is another matter I need to discuss with you. Alone.”   
  
“Yes,” Subaru jumps in, a little too quickly to be convincing. “Just you, Kamenashi.”   
  
Kazuya narrows his eyes at both of them, but he nods anyway. He’s protected by the Realm of Mars and Akanishi Jin after all—he knows Subaru and Murakami can’t do anything to him or his crew. Ryo knows as well as anyone that Subaru has no intentions of breaking his peace contract with Akanishi if he can help it.   
  
Murakami and Subaru lead Kazuya away and when they’re gone, Ryo gets the distinct impression they’d done that on purpose. Left him alone with Ueda Tatsuya.   
  
He glances at the rabbit and Tatsuya tilts his head at him curiously, silently asking him what they’re going to do.   
  
“I…” Ryo swallows hard and gingerly gets up onto his feet. “I can escort you back to the ship.”   
  
Tatsuya raises an eyebrow at him and gently gets up as well. He faces Ryo. “You realise they did that on purpose. Leaving you here with me.”   
  
“I know,” Ryo replies. “But I don’t...I’m fine. I don’t need anything.”   
  
He wouldn’t say no to sleeping with Tatsuya again. He’d welcome the distraction, but there’s still a niggling feeling at the back of his head. Begging him not to run from his problems.   
  
Tatsuya looks unimpressed for a moment and shakes his head. “The Mercury Pirates landed here this morning,” he explains. “Murakami explained everything. You all needed our help to find out what happened to Uchi, but there was also the matter of you. Okura—your ‘healer’—had a word with me this morning as well.”   
  
Ryo grits his teeth. He knows they all mean well, but he often finds himself wishing his Kanjani family would leave him alone to deal with shit himself.   
  
He. Is. Fine.   
  
Only he’s not, and when Tatsuya looks at him, the words can’t even come out. He’s been telling the others over and over again, he’s fine, he doesn’t need anything, he doesn’t want to talk, he doesn’t want ‘comfort’, he doesn’t want hugs or love or a listening ear. He’s fine.   
  
But he’s not. And he can’t tell Tatsuya he’s fine, because he knows it’s a lie this time.   
  
He can’t lie to Tatsuya. And he’s known for awhile now why that is. It’s the same reason why he doesn’t mind seeing Okura with others, but he can’t stand the thought of Tatsuya being with someone else. It’s why thinking about the rabbit brings a flutter of nerves to his chest, but also douses him in an endless well of questions and thoughts he never voices.   
  
Ueda Tatsuya confuses his heart and mind.   
  
“So,” he sighs. “What did Okura have to say? More shit about how I need to mourn?”   
  
“Yes,” Tatsuya says and he’s just as blunt as Kazuya. He’s a pirate after all.   
  
The rabbit studies Ryo for a moment and folds his arms. “You’re not okay. But you’re not supposed to be. Your best friend died. Expecting you to mourn and carry on would be unrealistic and unfair.”   
  
Ryo wants to argue. He wants to look Tatsuya in the eyes and tell him to fuck off and stop confusing him. He wants to say he’s okay, he’s fine, he doesn’t need this shit, but instead all Ryo feels is a lump in his throat that makes it hard to breathe. He feels embarrassing hot tears gathering in his eyes, and he can’t look at Tatsuya.   
  
The rabbit studies him carefully and leans in. “It’s okay not to be okay, Ryo,” he tells him. “They’ve been telling you to mourn, but you’ve already been mourning. In your own way.”   
  
Ryo closes his eyes. He doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want to face this, but he keeps seeing Uchi’s face in his mind. His chest tightens, he can’t breathe, he doesn’t want to do any of this but his body is taking over, forcing him to come to terms with it.   
  
Uchi is gone. He’s really gone. He’s never coming back.   
  
The first sob racks his chest, and Ryo reaches out to grab Tatsuya’s shirt. The next sob buckles his knees, and Tatsuya’s arms come around him, strong and holding him up, keeping him from falling completely to the ground and sobbing like his body has been dying to.   
  
Ryo finally gives in. He hides his face in Tatsuya’s shoulder, grabs him, grips his shirt in his fingers and cries. They sink back down to sit on the floor and Ryo can’t hold back anymore. He cries into Tatsuya’s shoulder and the other lets him.   
  
Ryo can see all of it. Growing up with Uchi Hiroki, switching between Sunshine Bay and Kanjani Island with him, working beside him, getting drunk with him, getting stoned with him, they’d done it all and they’d been as close as brothers. They were the only ones who knew what it was like to be a Switch, and they took comfort in never having to be alone.   
  
But now he is. Uchi is gone, his best friend, his brother, he is gone forever and the thought materialises over and over again in Ryo’s mind. Forcing him to face it and acknowledge it. The crushing and lonely realisation that he is alone now. He is all alone.   
  
The last known Switch left in the world.   
  
Tatsuya stays silent, but his arms are tight around Ryo. His hand is rubbing slow circles into Ryo’s back, and it’s comforting. Ryo wants the tears to stop—he wants the pain to stop, but it’s not going to, and all he can do is cling to Tatsuya.   
  
When Ryo wakes again—and he can’t even remember passing out, but he must have at some point—he’s lying in his bed, in his room. Through the window he can see the moon high in the sky, lighting his bedroom in a dim blue glow.   
  
Ryo rubs his eyes and turns his head to see Ueda Tatsuya, still with him, lying in bed next to him, the blanket drawn over them both.   
  
Ryo jumps and blinks at him. “What are you...when did I…?”   
  
“You haven’t been sleeping well,” Tatsuya points out quietly. He pulls the blankets tighter around them “You passed out. We carried you here, and the others felt it would be better if I stayed for a night.”   
  
“We?” Ryo frowns. Someone else saw him in that embarrassing, helpless state?   
  
“Kame, Subaru, Murakami,” Tatsuya clarifies. “Your lot looked pretty relieved actually.”   
  
Ryo can’t help but growl. He’s probably going to hear something about it later from Okura—how he finally mourned, and ‘don’t you feel better?’.   
  
He does, but that’s not the point. The point is his Kanjani family are nosy, annoying, meddling assholes.   
  
They love him. Ryo knows that.   
  
“So where are your lot?” he asks. “I doubt Kamenashi was keen to stay in the castle.”   
  
“They’re sleeping on the ship,” Tatsuya tells him, snuggling deeper into the bed until the blanket covers most of his face. “We have to go back to Mars soon. Akanishi is probably missing us.”   
  
Ryo knows damn well who Jin misses but he’ll never say it aloud. That’s a secret. One he’s happy to keep.   
  
He reaches under the blankets and lets his fingers drift lightly over Tatsuya’s body. He’s been lusting after this body, after this boy, ever since he first saw him, and they’ve been fucking on and off ever since, but Ryo can’t help but wonder if Tatsuya realises it’s been about more than sex for him for awhile.   
  
He likes to think about Tatsuya. He likes to look at him. He likes to know little details about Tatsuya and keep them hidden away in his head, like a secret only he is allowed to know.   
  
It’s actually a shame Subaru doesn’t like having the pirates around that often, because it means that when Ryo does have any chance to be with Tatsuya like this, it’s either when he’s working for Koyama and the pirates are near or when he has any diplomatic mission anywhere near Mars. It’s not often, and he doesn’t see Tatsuya as much as he wants to.   
  
He suspects that if it were actually up to him, he’d see Tatsuya a lot.   
  
“So...what?” he asks, eyes flicking up to Tatsuya’s face as his hand trails gently along Tatsuya’s side. “You’re here to make me better? Comfort me?”   
  
“I’m not Okura,” Tatsuya reminds him bluntly. “They didn’t bring me here because they knew you were sleeping with me.”   
  
Ryo holds his gaze and leans up a little. “Why then?”   
  
Tatsuya watches him, and for a terrifying moment Ryo wonders if he really does know everything. If he knows all the thoughts Ryo has about him, knows Ryo likes him more than a casual fuck buddy should.   
  
“They just wanted you to be okay again,” Tatsuya finally tells him calmly. “Whatever it takes to bring that out. Clearly Okura didn’t work, so maybe I will? At the very least, they know we’re fucking.”   
  
Ryo feels something thud hard in his chest, and tries to keep his breathing calm. It’s more than fucking for him and it has been more than fucking for a very long time. It’s so hard to read Tatsuya, to take cues from his expressions and understand what it is Tatsuya wants. Ryo doesn’t even know if Tatsuya actually likes him or if he just likes having sex with him.   
  
He’s heard rumors that rabbits fuck a lot, and it’s quite true with Tatsuya. The part that Ryo doesn’t like to think about is whether or not Tatsuya just fucks a lot in general or if it’s only with him. He wonders if it’s even realistic to hope for that.   
  
“What if I didn’t want to have sex?” Ryo asks. It would be a lie, because he always wants to have sex with Tatsuya, but he wonders if Tatsuya would still stay even if that weren’t on the table.   
  
The rabbit shrugs. “I was brought here to give you answers and to make you better. If that means no fucking, then that’s fine. Just tell me what I can do.”   
  
Ryo blinks. Tatsuya would stay even if they weren’t fucking? He snuggles a little closer to the other and watches the rabbit in his arms curiously.   
  
“Why did you agree to come here?” he can’t help but ask. “Murakami can’t be that persuasive.”   
  
Tatsuya chuckles. “He really isn’t. Your ambassador needs to work on his charisma.”   
  
“Then why?”   
  
Tatsuya’s eyes look thoughtful for a moment and he finally shrugs. “You needed to know what happened to him,” he answers. “And I had a feeling I might be able to help...not to mention Taguchi was dying to come here. You do realise that having the Mercury Pirates on your shores for even five minutes means something’s going to be stolen, right?”   
  
“I doubt Subaru is dumb enough not to realize that,” Ryo sighs.   
  
It’s a good point though. Clearly Ryo’s mental health is much more important to Subaru than the fact that he’s going to be robbed by the Mercury Pirates. These guys really do love him.   
  
He’ll probably hear all about what the pirates stole later.   
  
Then there’s the fact that Tatsuya himself agreed to come out here. He could have chosen to stay away from Kanjani Island and given how the pirates are regarded here it wouldn’t have been too hard to convince Kamenashi to say no. But they came anyway.   
  
Ryo could never feel unloved, knowing this.   
  
Leaning in, Ryo kisses Tatsuya firmly. When he pulls back Tatsuya has a curious look on his face, and it gives him a slight thrill.   
  
“Thought you said you didn’t want to,” Tatsuya asks, his hands on Ryo’s shoulders.   
  
“I said ‘what if’,” Ryo corrects him, and he leans over him to take Tatsuya’s lips again.   
  
Tatsuya’s body is inviting. It always has been. From the moment Ryo first saw him, he’d known he wanted him. Now it almost hurts to want him this much.   
  
He pulls Tatsuya’s shirt up and over his head, leaning down to kiss and nuzzle the skin of his shoulder, down into the toned expanses of muscle that Tatsuya always hides. It would surprise anyone to see what’s under those pirate clothes Tatsuya wears—there’s not a single ounce of body fat on him. He’s firm and fit a lot stronger than Ryo himself.   
  
Though Ryo would never openly admit that.   
  
He bites a nipple and relishes the way Tatsuya’s body shivers underneath him. Tatsuya, not to be defeated, sneaks a hand underneath Ryo’s trousers, and Ryo’s choked moan against Tatsuya’s chest makes him grin.   
  
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Tatsuya whispers in a dangerously silky voice. “Was it your turn to take control tonight?”   
  
Ryo lifts his head, dark bangs obscuring his view as he glares at Tatsuya. “It’s always my turn,” he informs him before grabbing both his hands and pinning them down onto the pillow, one on either side of Tatsuya’s head.   
  
Ryo climbs over him and looks down. Tatsuya’s hair is splayed on the white pillow, his hands perfectly still where Ryo is holding them at the wrist. Ryo notes Tatsuya’s brilliantly playful eyes and the way his fingers curl up just a little in relaxation.   
  
Tatsuya could buck him off if he really wanted to and Ryo would go flying across the room. It says a lot that Tatsuya doesn’t do that. In fact it says a lot that Tatsuya, who has been through so much trauma he still has nightmares to this day, trusts Ryo enough to let him have control ninety percent of the time.   
  
The other ten percent, Ryo never minds anyway.   
  
“Hands to yourself,” Ryo tells him.   
  
He sees a flash of impatience and curiosity cross Tatsuya’s eyes, and gently lets go of his wrists, testing him. Tatsuya keeps his hands where they are and watches as Ryo climbs down the rest of his body and strips him bare.   
  
Ryo isn’t a rabbit. He can’t fuck like one. Tatsuya’s stamina is made of magic and a rigorous exercise routine, and Ryo has no hope of keeping up with him. He’d once been worried about that, but to his surprise Tatsuya doesn’t seem to mind it at all. He rather enjoys still having a lot of energy left over when Ryo is exhausted and near passing out.   
  
One instance of this, Ryo can recall, is when he was tired, boneless and still tingling with pleasure from hours of fucking until he literally could not move a muscle anymore—and Tatsuya had jumped out of bed and started whistling as he headed off to find something else to do. Sometimes Tatsuya can be kind of a prick.   
  
Ryo kisses Tatsuya again and hears him moan as his hands go back up to hold Tatsuya’s wrists down. Tatsuya moves his wrists, testing Ryo’s grip a little, and Ryo has to hold him down tighter. It takes more energy than he’d like to admit. He grinds himself down, pressing his entire body weight on Tatsuya and he can feel Tatsuya arching into him. Despite his dominant personality and superhuman strength, Tatsuya seems to love being held down and pressed into the mattress.   
  
Ryo likes to think he’s one of the few people, if not the only person, who can do that to him.   
  
Tatsuya takes as much as he gives, leaning his head up to chase Ryo’s lips and kiss him harder as Ryo grinds against him, meeting Tatsuya’s hips with each thrust. He keeps his grip on Tatsuya’s wrists tight, and grinding fully clothed is not nearly enough to give them any satisfaction, but the tease is well worth it.   
  
Tiny sparks of frustratingly short pleasure until Tatsuya is all but squirming underneath Ryo.   
  
“Ryo,” Tatsuya breathes. His tone has a warning in it and it makes shivers shoot down Ryo’s spine. Tatsuya is more than capable of taking over, of pinning Ryo down and making him scream, and it says so much that he doesn’t. But Ryo doesn’t keep him like this for long anyway.   
  
He lets up on Tatsuya’s wrists, kisses down his chest and relishes the noise he gets out of him.   
  
Tatsuya was so compliant before, but the second he has Ryo out of his grip he pins Ryo on his back, and the surprise knocks the air from Ryo’s lungs. He barely has time to react before Tatsuya is on him, stealing his breath, using his weight to pin Ryo down, and Ryo barely has time to gasp before he feels Tatsuya opening him up already.   
  
Fuck, this rabbit is fast. But Ryo, at this point, really should not be surprised.   
  
His back arches when he feels Tatsuya pushing inside after only a brief preparation. His fingers clutch Tatsuya’s arms and shoulders, and all Ryo can see above him is Tatsuya’s expression of concentration. He leans up to take Tatsuya’s lips, and all he can feel is Tatsuya inside him, pushing at spots that make Ryo’s voice whimper and his body shake like he never does when he’s not with Tatsuya.   
  
Tatsuya’s skin is hot to the touch. He’s fast and strong, and it’s all Ryo can do to hold on. He can’t even form coherent thoughts, let alone coherent noises when Tatsuya is fucking them out of his brain.   
  
Ryo buries his face in Tatsuya’s shoulder, his fingers are holding onto his back and he loves the sound of Tatsuya’s breathing in his ear. How strained the other sounds, how much he shakes in Ryo’s hold. Like he’s holding back every animal instinct to just pound Ryo into oblivion.   
  
(Ryo only encourages Tatsuya to let out his full strength on him when he’s feeling up for it. On most days, he cannot handle Tatsuya at his fastest. No human can.)   
  
Tatsuya takes his lips again, robbing him of all the air in his lungs, and Ryo clings to him. He’s missed Tatsuya more than he’ll ever openly admit to anyone—even Okura or Tatsuya himself. The strength of Ryo’s emotions for the other only come out now, clear on his face and in the way he holds Tatsuya close to himself, as if afraid he’ll disappear.   
  
He’s too close. Too much heat, too much everything, Ryo’s whimpers and moans can be heard down the hall as he clings and lets Tatsuya wipe his mind clear of everything but him. Oblivion crashes in on Ryo and all he can do is hold on and moan Tatsuya’s name.   
  
Tatsuya lets him rest. He lets him breathe, and then when Ryo is ready, he takes him again and again until Ryo’s body finally succumbs to exhaustion, and he sleeps a deeper sleep than he has done since Uchi died.   
  
\-   
  
He’s almost afraid Tatsuya won’t be there when he wakes up, and when Ryo opens his eyes to see the rabbit still in his bed, he feels relief flood through his barely-awake mind.   
  
The sun is shining through his window, and Tatsuya is fully dressed but still lying on the space next to Ryo, watching him as he wakes. Ryo can feel Tatsuya’s hand in his hair, and it makes his heart swell.   
  
They fuck a lot, but it’s rare that Tatsuya shows gentle affection like this.   
  
“Hey,” Tatsuya says when he sees the other is awake.   
  
Ryo smiles sleepily. “Hey.”   
  
For a moment, they just watch each other. Ryo takes Tatsuya in, remembering every feature of his face, every line, every quirk of his lips, because he knows they won’t see each other for awhile. After all, Tatsuya is one of the Mercury Pirates. He doesn’t cross paths with Ryo often enough.   
  
“I have to go,” Tatsuya says after a moment, and Ryo wants to tell him to stay. He wants to ask him to just stay here with him. Ryo misses him every time he goes, but he can never bring himself to say it.   
  
Because what if Tatsuya says no? What if he says sorry, can’t, too many other fuck buddies to visit, can’t be tied down, see you next time sweetheart. Ryo doesn’t think he could handle that.   
  
So instead, Ryo just nods. There’s a lump in his throat, but he forces himself not to hold Tatsuya tighter.   
  
Tatsuya strokes Ryo’s hair back from his face. He kisses his forehead and watches him one more time.   
  
“You’ll be fine,” Tatsuya assures him. “It’s going to sting for awhile without Uchi, but you’ll be fine. I promise.”   
  
_Stay with me_, Ryo wants to beg. _I love you, stay with me._   
  
Ryo says nothing. He nods and pulls Tatsuya into one more kiss. Who knows when they’ll meet again.   
  
He gets up and gets dressed. The castle isn’t even fully awake as he follows Tatsuya out and down the village path towards the docks, where the Mercury Pirates are waiting for him. Ryo follows behind Tatsuya and looks up at the ship, then spots Kazuya waiting near the gangway.   
  
Tatsuya stops at the docks and turns to look at Ryo.   
  
Ryo blinks at him. He wants Tatsuya. He wants him all the time, and it’s scary to want someone so much, but it’s all he wants. He wants him to say he’ll stay with him, he’ll be with him whether in Sunshine Bay or on Kanjani Island. He wants Tatsuya to say he loves him and he hates leaving, that Ryo is the only one he loves and the only one he’ll ever love.   
  
But Tatsuya doesn’t say any of that. He doesn’t say anything. Simply tucks Ryo’s hair behind his ear and leans in to kiss him on the lips, long and meaningful.   
  
Ryo’s knees shake.   
  
Tatsuya then pulls back, smiles and heads for the ship. Kazuya waves at Ryo and follows him up. Ryo stands at the docks and watches as they pull the gangway up and finally set sail. Back into the open ocean, probably taking most of Kanjani Island’s jewellery and alcohol with them. One full night, it’s impossible that they’d have kept their hands to themselves.   
  
Ryo stands on the docks and watches as the ship sails away, bound for Jin, and when they’re gone Ryo finally feels a presence at his side. He turns to see Subaru standing beside him, watching the sea with him.   
  
Ryo sighs. “How bad?”   
  
“Lets just say, everything they stole is enough to open a small museum,” Subaru shrugs. “If they sell all of it, it’ll be enough to buy a mini-island.”   
  
Ryo winces. “I’m sorry.”   
  
“I’m not,” Subaru declares. He turns his eyes away from the ocean and looks at Ryo properly this time. “How are you feeling?”   
  
Lonely. Longing. But otherwise fine. Ryo has the answers he needed for what happened to Uchi and although he’s still mourning, he’s actually feeling more okay than he has felt in a long time.   
  
“I’m fine,” he says and this time Subaru believes him.   
  
“Good,” he breathes and Subaru’s voice is full of rare concern and relief. He really had been worried about Ryo for awhile there. He pats Ryo’s shoulder and guides him back to the castle.   
  
“Welcome back, Dokkun.”


End file.
